Monday, August 24, 2015

The solution to all professors' wardrobe dilemmas

I swear. The regularly scheduled Mermaid's Tale programming that you've come to expect (and to love?) is gearing up to return in full force.

But because so many of us are also gearing up to return to campus...

And while doing so, we're coming across articles like "Female academics: don't power dress, forget heels – and no flowing hair allowed" ...

I need to share something about what I'll be wearing my first semester as a tenured professor.

But to get us there, I'll need to pose a string of rhetorical questions:

  • Tired of students rating your course according to what you wear?
  • Can't find a way to make the professional looks that you prefer pair with flats or sneakers or anything other than torturous high heels or other dressy shoes?
  • Tired of spending precious time and money on work clothes that you change out of the second you get home?
  • Tired of choosing between this garment made in a sweat shop and that garment made by children?
  • Hate suits?
  • Work clothes feel like a costume? Especially out-of-style ones that are too expensive to replace as trends change?
  • Tired of spending money on dry-cleaning and all those chemicals?
  • Hate the unfair fact that some faculty (like those with white hair, white privilege, or beards) can get away with comfortable and often inexpensive t-shirts, jeans, and flip-flops but others cannot or cannot take the risk to find out if they can?

If you answered yes to even one of those questions (or to related questions that didn't dawn on me to ask) then may I suggest you try wearing an academic gown to teach?

If your profession comes with its very own costume, why not take advantage of it? It's what I'm going to do starting this semester. I bought a cheap academic gown on-line and I've even started decorating it:

Kind of makes my chair look professorial, doesn't it?
I know this is tradition at a few American schools, but do any of you do this where it isn't? Anyone want to start?

7 comments:

Holly Dunsworth said...

Because there seems to be confusion: I'm not wearing my hot heavy velvety regalia with hood etc. This is a thin plain black gown.

Ken Weiss said...

Hey, unfair! You seem to think, Holly, that an open shirt and somewhat worn ill-fitting jeans is just the white guy's easy garb. Don't you realize how much work it takes to pick the right jeans, saggy belt, and open shirt, not to mention the coffee stains, that are OUR guys' costumery?? You think that's easy? You think we wouldn't rather wear something clean, that looks at least a bit professional for the students, rather than this grad-student (or manual laborer) get-up? Get real! It's a real drag for us guys (white haired or skinned or whatever), trying to pick the right stuff out of the laundry hamper every day before going to work!

Holly Dunsworth said...

There's an easy solution! Drape an academic robe over that mess. Wear anything you want out of your hamper!

Ken Weiss said...

Well, you can say that if you want. If I wore an academic robe, even a shabby one, the students would think I was some looney British don who was so plastered he didn't even know what side of the ocean he was on (and, yes, it would be a 'he'). At least in the good old days--that I vaguely remember--a real professor wore a thread-bare corduroy jacket with elbow patches, baggy pants, an un-ironed shirt and poorly tied, soup-stained tie, and had a stinky pipe in his front pocket. It may have been posturing and self-conscious, as the pay wasn't actually all _that_ bad then, but at least it was posturing to be an intellectual, rather than (as nowadays) more like an itinerant electrician. Of course, some professors actually were that absent minded useless intellectuals, and nerdy as a reward; but the grant system drove them out of town on a rail long ago.

As to women faculty, they didn't have to deal with nearly these falsities, of the kind you mention....because there _weren't_ any women faculty at the time. Things were more civilized then, at least....

Ken Weiss said...

Actually, there were at least some intrepid women faculty back then. I don't remember how they dressed for class, as I was too obsessed with having the right wardrobe for my greenhorn self. I think I still have that corduroy jacket with the elbow patches, hanging in my office in case of emergencies (but the pipe is long gone)

Geoffrey Vasile said...

As a returning student who, admittedly, pores through professor review. I
immediately eschew ratings that mention attire, along with professor descriptions that end with a polyp count. Usually I purposefully aim for a teacher with a lowish 3 rating as that usually indicates the 2000k papers I write wont be power-skimmed through like a People's magazine at a Proctologist's Office. (Fun Post)

Don Prothero said...

My normal teaching outfit is a T-shirt (usually with a design tied to the lecture) and jeans, except during the hot months, when it's a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. NEVER wear a jacket or tie! And it's typical of most of the places I've taught. Geologists are very casual...