tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post2810169167796414514..comments2024-02-29T03:57:00.088-05:00Comments on The Mermaid's Tale: All of it. Wanting it and having it, for each of us is our own. And whether or not we got all we imagined, that our dreams and our realities were ours was good. Because that's all there was.Anne Buchananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212151396672651221noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-85309821929049313332013-03-05T13:33:30.743-05:002013-03-05T13:33:30.743-05:00Hi Beth! Sounds fun! :) :) Thanks so much for your...Hi Beth! Sounds fun! :) :) Thanks so much for your comment and thoughts. I wish we could be chatting together in San Fran about this today!Holly Dunsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05260104967932801186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-48154787369087890472013-03-05T13:04:12.470-05:002013-03-05T13:04:12.470-05:00Holly, What an insightful (and relieving!) read.
...Holly, What an insightful (and relieving!) read. <br /><br />I agree with the notion that to be a good mother it 'takes more physically and IMMEDIATELY out of a woman that being a good father takes out of a man' - 100%! In fact my husband often says that he sees that our child is much more demanding of me than he is of him. They interact differently. When it comes to appeasing our son, somehow, my husband has it easier and he'd be the first to admit it. <br /><br />Is our child simply more forgiving of his father? Does he expect less from him? Has my guilt of being a "working mother" led me to create a monster by giving into his every whim? Perhaps all of these are true. In any case, it seems that culture and biology are both quite strongly affecting our individual relationships with him. The same child has a very different disposition, depending on who he is with. Somedays, the difference can be quite remarkable. Beth Greennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-75020589052602212502013-03-05T07:07:38.940-05:002013-03-05T07:07:38.940-05:00Remember, we're talking about all this within ...Remember, we're talking about all this within the context of "having it all" so to pluck something else from above out: "Being a good mother takes more, physically and immediately, out of a woman than being a good father takes out of a man."Holly Dunsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05260104967932801186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-24542429172166893952013-03-04T17:41:43.256-05:002013-03-04T17:41:43.256-05:00Of course. It's doubled up as career investmen...Of course. It's doubled up as career investment towards success too though. So, pound for pound, all things being equal, it's not a fair comparison. Moms don't get hours nursing their baby toward tenure and promotion. I'm not trying to be glib. I'm just tired. And I'm not trying to downplay the importance of men and fathers! It's just the bare facts of mammalian reproduction with cultural expectations on top of that. Moms have a heavier burden.Holly Dunsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05260104967932801186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-9896607039838888512013-03-04T16:58:15.567-05:002013-03-04T16:58:15.567-05:00'Mothers must be more devoted to their childre...'Mothers must be more devoted to their children to be good mothers than fathers must be to be good fathers.'<br /><br />If you take a broad view of what constitutes 'devotion' or 'investing more of their physical selves', I think the gap between male and females shrinks significantly.<br /><br />If a man picks up another shift at work or busts his ass for that promotion because he knows he's got a rugrat to take care of, is this not a physical investment? Is this not devotion? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-42500459211145484292012-07-25T13:23:40.528-04:002012-07-25T13:23:40.528-04:00Thanks so much Patrick and Ken. You guys rock too....Thanks so much Patrick and Ken. You guys rock too.Holly Dunsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05260104967932801186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-53340832338645155342012-07-25T13:15:32.725-04:002012-07-25T13:15:32.725-04:00Or they are as they are, up to a limit. (Funny how...Or they are as they are, up to a limit. (Funny how seeing evolution for what it is can be as subjective as seeing life for what is is!)Holly Dunsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05260104967932801186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-76359998641243378002012-07-25T12:32:52.581-04:002012-07-25T12:32:52.581-04:00In life, as in evolution, most things are trade-of...In life, as in evolution, most things are trade-offs!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07932178263540994532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-35887660146382030162012-07-25T09:00:19.702-04:002012-07-25T09:00:19.702-04:00You rock. I hope you get as much of "it all&q...You rock. I hope you get as much of "it all" as possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812431336777691886.post-21615212614567025772012-07-25T08:51:10.927-04:002012-07-25T08:51:10.927-04:00Another terrifically thoughtful Hollygram!
There ...Another terrifically thoughtful Hollygram!<br /><br />There is a problem, however. It's that you raise so many cogent points how can one react sufficiently in a Comment? <br /><br />It is so ironic, for someone like me, to see these issues recycling and being revisited even within my own adult lifetime. <br /><br />The 'evolutionary' argument about gender differences and what is 'right' etc. always lurks behind the scene if not on center stage. Social and hence political pressures get organized. <br /><br />Naturally, women or men with a given attitude or whatever will use whatever arguments they feel will defend their position, and that's a rather normal human way of feeling OK about one's own life as well as pressuring others to be similar.<br /><br />Capitalistic ideas of growth, 'productivity' (in the more, more, more and faster, faster, faster), competitiveness, and so on also play a role in how our country works in this regard as in so many others. We're urban, not rural, we need jobs rather than having set daily chores, we work within industries rather than on our own subsistence. <br /><br />All of these things entangle roles and ideas about them, and of course the need to have opportunity and not be denied access to a livelihood.<br /><br />It is those lucky people who have the strength of character to be themselves who can perhaps at least most escape the pressures to be what somebody else wants you to be, or to resist societal factors that impede that.Ken Weisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02049713123559138421noreply@blogger.com