But seriously, what do finger bones have to do with sex?

A recent paper on fossil hominin hand morphology inspired journalists to write some of the wackiest headlines about human evolution in recent memory.

Here's a good one:

Neanderthals Were More Promiscuous Than Modern Humans, Fossil Finger Bones Suggest.

What could you possibly take away from this headline besides,

"Seriously? Your finger bones indicate how sexually active you are or whether you're prone to cheat on your partner?"

While Googling for a way to evaluate your own fingers, or your partner's, you may also think,

"Stupid Neanderthals! That's not how you make babies! No wonder they went extinct."

Maybe Neanderthal baseball only had three bases?

Other headlines weren't so accidentally confusing... like this outrageous one in The Telegraph:

Neanderthals really were sex-obsessed thugs.

The subtitle reads: "Neanderthals really did act like Neanderthals, new research suggests, as our early relatives were found to be more aggressive, competitive and promiscuous than modern man."

So what did the study actually find?

Lucky for you and me, the article is open access so anyone with internet access can see for themselves.


P.S. On a related note, here's a funny little question-and-answer about finger size and use.